


Wisteria

by Eydol



Category: TsukiPro the Animation
Genre: Hint of RyoKen, M/M, Maybe out of character, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-01 14:59:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14523144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eydol/pseuds/Eydol
Summary: A love song could be the start of everything.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A small story I wrote back in November. I really hope you'll enjoy it, and sorry for my bad english + the characterisation.

            It was darkness. It was always darkness when he couldn’t write music as he wanted. No ideas came into his mind, as if something was blocking it. He knew why. He wasn’t stupid. He looked around. _It’s not today I’ll be able to do something, huh._ _What a pity._ He closed his eyes and put his head between his arms. _I don’t know what to do. My muse disappeared. Usually, he’s here, cooking or cleaning the dormitory, but today, he’s absent._ Why did he need Koki closed to him to have ideas, these last days…? Ah yes, maybe because he was his savior.

            He opened his eyes and slapped the table. _Wake up, Mamoru. It’s not by complaining that I’ll be able to do something, anyway._ He looked around. Maybe he could help with the cleaning. He didn’t know when Koki would come back, and Ryota and Ken were somewhere he didn’t want to know - he discovered a few days ago that they were closer than he thought, and really, he didn’t want to witness that _ever again_ \- so he could give a help, right? He wasn’t good at that, but if it could let Koki take a rest, then…

            Suddenly feeling better, and deciding that forgetting his music problem for a while would be good for his mental, he hurried up and took a broom. _Okay, let’s do it._ Whistling, he started to clean the ground with all his power. He hoped nobody would come back at this very moment, because really, he didn’t want to start from the beginning once again. Not that he was doing great anyway. He was bad with cleaning duty. Even at the orphanage… _Ah, it’s been a while I didn’t see them… I should maybe go soon._ Happy to have taken this decision, he stepped away. But he didn’t care of where he was going, and the handle of the broom hit something, that fell on the ground, and broke.

            Mamoru froze, and turned slowly towards the victim of the accident. When he saw Koki’s favorite teacup, he panicked. _Oh no, Ko is going to kill me... ! Maybe if I hide the body…? No no, he will notice. He isn’t stupid. Crap, what should I do!?_ Write an apologizing song. It would be called “The Death of the Teacup”. Koki would disliked it. He rubbed his temples. Maybe sending a text to the owner of the victim would be the best. Like that, he would prepare him, and he would be ready to die.

            So, he took his phone, and slowly wrote a text to his friend, ready to get a call from Koki and to be scolded. The answer came soon, as if Koki had been connected to him and knew he was going to receive a text from him.

 

**From Koki:**

 

Didn’t I tell you not to clean the dishes?

 

**To Koki:**

 

I didn’t clean the dishes… I was cleaning the house. With the broom.

 

**From Koki:**

 

…

…

…

 

**To Koki:**

 

Did you just send me 3 texts with “...” only?

I’m sorry, don’t kill me!

 

**From Koki:**

 

I’m just wondering how you could break my teacup with a broom, actually.

Anyway, it’s fine, don’t worry. It wasn’t the one I prefered.

 

**To Koki :**

 

But it was the one with the flowers? The one you often use.

 

**From Koki:**

 

It’s not because I use it often that it’s my favorite.

I don’t use my favorite. Too precious.

 

 **To Koki** :

 

Oh, so I’m safe. Good. I was really worried, you know.

 

**From Koki:**

 

It doesn’t mean you can break something else. Don’t clean, I’ll do it myself. Or ask Ryo or Ken.

 

 **To Koki** :

 

I really don’t want to go to their room…

 

**From Koki:**

 

???

 

**To Koki:**

 

Nevermind.

See you later~

 

“Phew, I’m safe. But maybe I should stop cleaning. I will let it to Ryo and Ken, then.”

            Koki was already doing all the house working, so, for once, a little rest wouldn’t kill him, right? _What could I do, now?_ He looked around.

Then, a new idea came in mind. He thought about the orphanage, earlier, and it was still early, so he could go there. But first, he wanted to bring them something. He would cook cookies for them! They liked that, and it wasn’t something too difficult, so he would put the dormitory in fire, for once.

            Still whistling - Corona this time - he gathered the ingredient and blessed Koki who made cookies not so long ago. Sometimes, he wondered where the man learned all of these, and suddenly thought that he would be a good housewife. He laughed. That was a stupid thought. He followed the recipe he found on the internet - he didn’t know at all where Koki put his recipes books - and was proud, by the end of it, not to have burning them. Well, at least, they weren’t totally black, it was the principal, right?

            He hurried up cleaning the dishes - and broke a glass this time - and left the dormitory with a happy big smile on his lips. _I’m so proud! I should tell Ko about that!_

 

**To Koki:**

 

I cooked cookies! I didn’t burn anything!

 

**From Koki:**

 

A miracle?

 

**To Koki:**

 

It’s a little burned but not too serious.

Also, I broke a glass by cleaning the dishes.

 

**From Koki:**

 

…

 

**To Koki:**

 

Don’t judge me. It was only a glass. I’m omw to the orphanage, so I’ll repay it when coming back home. Promise~

 

            He didn’t get any answer this time, but he didn’t mind it. Koki was surely busy, and it was a miracle for the man to answer him to begin with.

            It was strange to take the way to the orphanage. He wasn’t accustomed anymore to it, and it brought back memories of the time he lived here. It also reminded him how he met Koki, and it made him laugh. _If he hadn’t come to listen me, I would be dead._ He was his savior and protector. _Maybe I should write about that… But the last time I tried, it ended as a love song, and I didn’t dare to show him._ It was still hidden somewhere in his room. He couldn’t throw it, because all his feelings were written on it. One day, he would show him. Not now, though. He didn’t want to bother Koki more, especially with his feelings. _At least, two of Growth don’t mind us for their feelings. Urgh, can’t believe I heard them. That was gross._ Yet, he was happy for them.

            He finally arrived in front of the orphanage, and his eyes were full of stars. He couldn’t wait to see their surprised expression, and their happy one, eating cookies. He just hoped he had done enough for everyone. If not, he would go to pastry as fast as possible.

            He passed through the doorway, and walked towards the door. He took a look at the front garden, and smiled when he understood nothing at changed. He wondered if the garden, behind the orphanage, was still the same too.Maybe he would play with the children.

            Mamoru took a deep breath and rang at the bell. While he was waiting for an answer, he received a text from Koki, that surprised him. He answered him, surprised a little bit that he asked him the orphanage’s address, and then forgot it when the door got opened and a woman appeared.

“Mamoru, is that you!?”

“Hello Miss Yamada, nice to see you again.”

“Oh my, come in, come in, don’t stay at the door!”

            The woman seemed pretty excited. Miss Yamada was the director of the orphanage, and was a strict but soft woman. How many time did she scold him when he was but a mere child? Too many for him to count, but he had never regretted the problems he caused. After all, it was just glasses and plates, and even if they weren’t rich, they always found a way to get new ones.

“I can’t believe you came.”

“I thought it would be nice to come. I hope I’m not bothering.”

“Not at all,” the answer was, “the children are always talking about you, you know? We’re so proud of you.”

            Mamoru smiled and blushed slightly under the compliment.

“I’m proud that the little demon became an angel~”

“I wasn’t a demon.”

“You were the demon of the kitchen.”

“Urgh, that’s mean.” He pouted.

            The woman laughed, and they arrived in the living room, where the children were the children were watching the TV. It was an emission Growth had recorded a month ago, and that was only going on TV right now.

            At first, the children didn’t notice him, but when one of them turned his face towards him, he screamed, and all the other followed.

“Mamoru, you came!”

“How are you?”

“How can you be in the TV and here at the same time?”

“Are you a magician?”

            Mamoru laughed at all the questions, and after a nod to the director, he sat on the sofa, and was soon surrounded by children.

“I am a magician~ I am Growth’s magician!”

“Liar.”

“It’s Koki the magician!”

“What? How can you tell? You don’t even know him!”

“He transformed you into an idol.”

            Oh, they had a point. He pulled a face, and said:

“You’re right, Ko is the magician.”

“What did you bring?”

“Children, could you not ask indiscreet questions like that?” The director warned, jaded.

“Ahaha, don’t worry, I was about to show them, anyway.”

            He opened the box where the cookies were, and gave one to each of the children. He was even able to give one to Miss Yamada, who looked at it suspiciously.

“It’s burned, Mamoru.”

“Urgh, I did my best, you know.”

            She squinted and ate a piece of it, and the children did too. At first, he got no reaction, and he thought that, once again, he had failed it, but then, a children said it was good, better than the last time, and he felt relieved.

“For once, you did well.”

“I’m always doing well, Miss Yamada.”

“Hm, should I remind you the day you tried to make us a curry?”

“... No, thank you.”

            The woman laughed, and the doorbell rang. She apologized and left, letting Mamoru alone with the children.

“Mamoru, Mamoru, will you bring the other Growth members here one day?”

“I’m not sure I can, I’m sorry. We’re all busy, you know.”

“Yes, yes, we understand, but one day, you can bring all of them here.”

“You’re really stubborn, all of you.”

            The children laughed, and so did Mamoru, who couldn’t help. It was so good to be back here once a while. He had forgotten how simple everyone was, even if their life was harsh. Mamoru would never complain how being an Idol was harsh too, because he loved his job, and also because for him, the children knew worse.

“Well, at least, I know why you are stubborn too.” Someone said.

            Mamoru started, surprised, and turned so fast towards the newcomer that he hurt his neck.

“Koki!?”

“Aaah, it’s the magician!”

“The magician?” Koki repeated, blinking a little bit.

            Mamoru stayed sat on the sofa, frozen. Why was Koki there? It was so strange to see him here. Compared to the old place, smelling the poverty, Koki was like an angel, in a beautiful rich clothes. Well, rich was maybe too strong, as he was dressed casually, but compared to the place, it was rich. Also, there was a certain aura around his friend, as if he was bringing warmth. Like he did for him, that day, on the street. Like he also did that day when he told him he loved the songs he created for Growth. Like he always did when he was around.

            Mamoru finally stood up, giving up his surprised state, and came near Koki, who didn’t have any expression. Or rather, he seemed a little bit overwhelmed by the children.

“I can’t believe you’re here.”

“I wanted to face the murderer of my teacup.”

“Urgh, I’m so sorry~”

“Mamoru, you still broke something?” The directed asked, jaded.

“Mamoru is an objects murderer~” The children sang.

“Urgh, I told you I was sorry!”

            The children laughed, Mamoru pouted, the director smirked, and Koki said nothing. He couldn’t believe he told them his crimes without any regret!

 

*

 

            The garden hadn’t changed at all. There still was a swing, and Mamoru sat on it. Koki stayed by his side, and together, they watched the children played hide-and-seek.

“I still can’t believe you’re here.”

“It’s the second time you tell me.”

“It’s a surprise!”

“I wanted to see where you lived in the past.”

            Mamoru pulled a face, and sighed.

“It’s not really great, huh?”

“Well…”

“It’s not as rich as your house, and not as beautiful too, but I love this place. It’s really important to me. Every month, I donate a little just to be sure they will have something.”

            Koki didn’t answer straight away, and Mamoru didn’t really wait for it. He could understand that his friend wasn’t able to comment about it. Their worlds were so different. He probably was surprised by it, but would forget it by the end of the day.

“It’s a great place, I think.” Koki finally stated. “It’s not poor as you said.”

“Huh? Did you look correctly around you?”

            The garden was bad maintained, and the flowers were already dying. He didn’t even want to think about the holes there and here and where he often fell when he was a child.

“Yes, I did.” Koki answered slowly. “Materially, it is poor, but humanly, it isn’t.”

“Eh?”

“It’s full of love, and courage, and beautiful feelings. Now I understand you better. I understand why you’re like that. I love this place.”

“Do you?”

“Yes. How can I dislike the place where my beloved… where you came from, huh?”

 _“Where my beloved”...? Ko… No, it wasn’t surely what he wanted to say._ But hearing that made him happy. He always thought that Koki would dislike that place, just because of his appearance, but of course, he wasn’t like that. He should have known. He chuckled, and finally said:

“You know, it’s not my favorite place…” He stood up, and put his hands in his back, then turned towards Koki. “My favorite place is where you are, Ko. No matter where, I’ll follow you, you know~ ?”

Koki smiled softly, and Mamoru answered it. He said the truth. The best place was where Koki was.

“Thank you, Ko.”

“Why?”

            Mamoru didn’t answer. Thanks to him, he found inspiration for a new song.

 


	2. Chapter 2

            With a great dexterity, he mixed the melted chocolate with the hot milk. At this very moment, Ryota passed in front of him.

“You don’t eat breakfast?”

“I’ll buy something on the way.”

“Oh. Have fun in classes.”

            Given the look Ryota gave him, “fun” wasn’t the word he should have used. _I should hurry if I don’t want to be late for classes._ He took the mug, and the cookies he had made earlier, and brought them to Mamoru’s room. Koki didn’t knock - every time he did, Mamoru didn’t answer answer, too concentrated on his work - and entered in the room.

“I’m bringing you a little breakfast.”

            In front of his piano, Mamoru didn’t answer. Koki stared at him. He could stare at him for hours, going from noticing the fallen locks on his face, the bags under his eyes, to his half removed jacket. He hated when Mamoru overworked like that, _and_ at the same time, he loved when he was so dedicated to his work.

“Did you pull an all-nighter again?” He asked, coming closer. “You should take a rest.”

            Once again, Mamoru didn’t answer, and this time, Koki sighed. He put the hot chocolate mug, and the cookie, on the desk, and then, put his hands on Mamoru’s eyes.

“Huh? Who turned off the light?”

“Your conscience.”

“Oh. Hello Conscience, could you bring the light back?”

            Koki smiled softly, and removed his hand. Mamoru looked at him, his eyes still full of sparkles. How could they still be so bright even after an all-nighter? Maybe it was magic, the same he used for composing Growth songs? Mamoru was magic, anyway, so it wouldn’t be surprising.

“You should take a rest. Your health is important.”

“I know, I know. I’ll do it once I’ve finished the songs, okay?”

“Knowing you, it won’t be before tonight.”

“No, really, I won’t be able to do more.”

“Fine. I brought you a breakfast, eat it. And don’t do the dishes.”

“Okay, thank you.”

“I’m going to class. When I’ll be back, I’ll clean all the rooms.”

“Can I help yo-”

“No.”

            Mamoru pouted, and Koki chuckled. He wouldn’t mind Mamoru’s help if he wasn’t sure he would destroy something once again. The last time he had wanted to clean, one of Koki’s teacup got broken. With a broom. He still didn’t understand how it was possible to break a teacup with a broom, and never bothered to ask Mamoru.

“You should go to the orphanage. I’m sure the children would be happy to see you.”

“Ah yes, it’s been two months I didn’t go…” Mamoru sighed, then rubbed his neck with a smile. “Thank you, Koki. For always being here, I mean.”

“Hm. You’re welcome. See you later.”

            Koki left the room, and once he had closed the door, he put his hand on his chest, at the very place his heart was. It was beating faster than usual, and he bit his lips. _It’s becoming harder. Why does he have such an effect on me… Why him. Why do I have this kind of feelings for him?_ It would have been easier if it had been a woman. Well, he could only accept it, anyway.

            Once he was calmed down, he went in his room to take his bag, but then noticed the teacup besides his computer. He smiled softly, and took it in his hands. It was his favorite teacup, with printed music notes in every color on it. It had been offered by Mamoru, and since then, it was standing by his computer’s side, and the Arainu plush of the color of Mamoru. _One day, I’ll tell him._ One day, when they would be too old to be idols anymore, free of everything. Maybe he would never tell him, in the end. He wasn’t sure yet.

            Shaking his head, he finally took his bag, and left for the university, before being late.

* * *

 

            When he came back, he was alone. He took advantage of it, and started cleaning the house. He prefered doing it when nobody was here, like that, nobody tried to help him. Not that he would mind Ryota or Ken, but Mamoru… No. Mamoru doing the housecleaning would be a terrible idea.

            He took the broom, and decided to start with his bedroom. Like that, he wouldn’t be worried about it anymore, and it was better to end with the toilets and the entrance corridor, anyway. So, he started with his perfectly neat room. He hated when it was messy, and from what he had understood, it would be a bad idea for him to go to Ken’s room at his parents.

            When his room was over - and it had been quick, fortunately - he thought a little, and finally decided to do Mamoru’s room. He knew it wasn’t messy, but knowing him, he had surely spilled a bit of his hot chocolate on the desk. And he had been right. He stared blankly at the stain on the desk, and rolled his eyes. _I know him way too much._ He shrugged and cleaned the desk, making the stain disappear. _I hope he took a good rest, and that he_ _will_ _sleep tonight. How many time_ _s_ _will_ _I have to tell him to take care of his health?_

            Once he was done with the desk, he looked around and noticed Mamoru’s clothes on his bed. He rolled his eyes. Knowing him, he decided on what to wear to goto the orphanage, and hurried up, forgetting to put his clothes in the wardrobe. _Who am I? His wife?_ He laughed at this thought. Maybe he wouldn’t mind being his husband. But Mamoru would, surely.

            He took the clothes one by one, folded them, and then hung them in the wardrobe. When he opened the furniture's door, something fell, and he sighed. He put the clothes inside, then leaned and took what he had made fall. It was a piece of paper, written hastily it seemed, and even though he didn’t want to read it, his eyes fell on a “I love you” that made his heart miss a beat.

            So, he read. And he regretted it. It was a song, definitely, with beautiful words and beautiful feelings, but the paper was crumpled, as if Mamoru wanted to forget it. And Koki couldn’t help but wonder who was the chosen one. To whom were these words offered. That person was lucky, and probably unaware of it. _I should put it back and forget it._ Then, with shaking hands, he put the piece of paper under a black box, to be sure it wouldn’t fall a second time, and once he was over, he left the room.

 

_Maybe it was Fate telling me I shouldn’t love him._

 


	3. Chapter 3

            The sugar fell in the cup, spilling a little of the hot chocolate on the table, but he didn’t notice it. In front of him, Ryota and Kensuke watched him, worried, not even daring to talk with him.

“Do you think it’s love-sickness again?”

“It wasn’t love-sickness the first time…” Ryota answered. “But it could be this time.”

“What should we do?”

“That’s… a question I can’t answer. But we could ask him…?”

            The fact that Ryota himself wasn’t sure about that made Ken shiver. He hoped it wasn’t love-sickness, because he wasn’t sure he would be able to help. It was already a miracle that himself was with the one he loved, so giving advices of that sort would be a second miracle. And if there was something he knew, it was that miracle couldn’t arrive twice.

            Yet, Ryota put his hand on Koki’s, who raised his eyes towards them, staring blankly into the void, it seemed.

“Koki, are you alright?”

“Huh…?”

“You look a little… not yourself.”

“You’re spacing out.”

“It’s been five minutes you’re stirring your sugar.”

            Koki stared at them for a few seconds, then looked at his cup.

“Oh. Sorry.”

“Why do you apologize?” Ken chuckled. “Really, you’re strange today.”

“Sorry,” Koki repeated, “I didn’t sleep well last night.”

“Hm? Are you sick?”

“No. I was just...overthinking.”

            He took a sip of his hot chocolate, and then looked somewhere else, as if lost in thoughts once again. Ryota sighed, Ken shrugged.

“Can we help you with your over thinking?”

“No, you can’t. It’s something between me and my conscience.”

“Between you and your... conscience.”

            Ryota and Ken glanced at each other. Something with Koki was wrong, but they couldn’t understand why. Koki continued to drink his hot chocolate, and finally, his two others friends drank their own tea. When Koki was over, he took his cup and walked towards the shrink.

“I’ll clean the dishes when I come back from university.” He said.

“From university…?” Ryota repeated.

            Ken frowned.

“Fine. You need help?”

            Why was Ryota playing his game?

“No, it’s fine.”

            He turned towards them, his cup still in hands, and smiled. It was the first smile of the day, but Ken was relieved. Maybe nothing was wrong. It was surely their imagination. If Koki hadn’t slept well the night before, it would explain why he was so out of himself that day. But knowing him, he would be on the rails soon. There was nothing to worry.

“Oh, now I think about it, it looks like Mamoru won’t take his breakfast with us. I guess he’s still working.”

“Eh? That guy, he could stop at least to eat with us.” Ken sighed. “Koki, will you bring him his-”

            But Ken couldn’t end his sentence: the cup that Koki was holding fell on the ground and broke, surprising both Ryota and Ken.

“Oh. Sorry.”

            Ryota and Ken glanced at each other for the third time since the beginning of the day, and it was a lot. Koki knelt, and started picking up the pieces of the broken cup. Ryota stood and helped him. Ken didn’t move. Okay, maybe something was really bothering their leader, and maybe they really should worry about him.

“You’re so clumsy.” Ryota chuckled.

“Sorry.”

“Stop apologizing,” Ken said, “for once, it’s not Mamoru who breaks something.”

            This time, Koki cut his finger with a fragment of the cup. Blood started pouring on his finger, and falling on the ground.

“Oh no. I hate cleaning blood.” He said, standing up and putting his finger under the water. “Take care, Ryota, don’t hurt yourself.”

“Hm, don’t worry…”

            For the fourth time, Ryota and Ken glanced at each other. Ken stood up and helped Ryota, making sure none of them get hurt too. When it was done, he threw everything in the bin.

“Good morning everyone~”

            Mamoru’s sudden arrival startled everyone, starting by Koki himself who stained his clothes with the water.

“Good morning Mamoru, you’re late for breakfast.” Ryota scolded.

“Yes, I know, but I asked Koki to wake me up.”

“... Did you?”

“Yes? Yesterday night. You even told me “Yes, sure, no problem.””

“I don’t remember at all.”

            Mamoru stared at him and blinked.

“Are you fine?”

“Yes, sorry for not waking up. I forgot.”

“I noticed yes. But it’s fine~”

“Sorry, I have to change myself and go to university quickly.” Koki finally said, living the dining room.

            They watched him leave, not saying a word. It was Mamoru who broke the silence with a question really important:

“Going to university? Isn’t it Saturday today?”

            Ryota nodded. There was definitely a problem with their leader.

 

* * *

 

            Koki stood in front of the university and rubbed his temples, before sighing of annoyance. He was stupid. Why did he think he had lessons this morning? It was a morning off. They had work in the afternoon, though.        He stared at the portal, then left. He was stupid. Just because he had had a bad sleep the night before. Actually, there was a reason for that bad night, but he really didn’t want to think about it.

            He was about to enter in a café when his phone rang. When he looked at his phone, he saw it was Ryota texting him. He answered quickly to the “where are you?”, and entered the café. The place was quiet. It changed from school days when, usually, students went there to share a moment between them. Koki often came here with Ken and Ryota. Sometimes, Mamoru came too.

            He ordered a tea and a cookie, and sat at a table at the bottom of the room. There, he put his head on his hands and waiting, letting his thoughts going towards Mamoru. He couldn’t stop, anyway, and it was worst now that he knew the existence of the love song in Mamoru’s wardrobe. He had thought about it all night long, almost pulling an all-nighter, and even now, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. It was like one of these songs you disliked, with the only sentence you remembered keeping repeating in your mind, giving you a headache.

“Ah, you’re here.”

            Ryota’s voice released him from his thoughts, fortunately for him.

“You were fast.”

“I followed you five minutes after you left.” Ryota explained, sitting in front of Koki. “So, what’s the problem?”

“There’s no problem.”

            Ryota rolled his eyes, whispering a “liar” barely audible. Then, the waitress arrived, bringing them their orders. It surprised Koki, as he hadn’t seen Ryota ordering something. Yet, it was very possible that his friend ordered it while he was thinking about Mamoru. When the woman left, Ryota continued:

“Stop lying and tell me. I’ll keep a secret if you don’t want the others to know.”

            Koki took a bit of his cooking, staring into the void. Talking about it to Ryota? Was it a good idea? He would find him stupid, right? _But I already am, for coming to university this morning, to begin with._ He sighed.

“It’s not really important, you know? It’s just…” He took another bit of the cookie. “I cleaned Mamoru’s room, yesterday.”

“Yes, and…? Did you see something strange?” Then Ryota frowned. “Please, if it’s about his intimate life, I don’t want to know.”

“It’s more his love life. I do hope I’ll never know his intimate life while cleaning his room, thank you.”

 _Except if I’m the subject of it,_ he added for himself. He was a human, after all, with feelings and desires. A lot of desires when it implied Mamoru.

“Oh. He has a love live?”

“Apparently? When I was putting his clothes in his wardrobe, a piece of paper fell. And I… read it.”

            He shouldn’t have, but it had been stronger than him. Curiosity killed the cat. He was the cat.

“Was it a love letter?”

“No. It was a love song.”

“Oh.” Ryota tilted his head and took a sip of his tea. “Wasn’t it the song he talked about months ago? The one he said we couldn’t sing because it was too cheesy.”

“Too cheesy…” Koki repeated. “It isn’t cheesy. ...Well, no, it’s true, _it is cheesy_. But it’s also powerful. I could feel the feelings through all my body. Like… How can I explain you…?”

“Isn’t it what all Mamoru’s songs do to you?”

“No, I mean, yes, but it was stronger than that. Like… I could totally feel what he had written, as if I was who wrote it.”

“It’s confusing.”

“...Is it?”

“Totally. Can you just tell me what the actual problem is?”

            Koki stared at Ryota. His friend knew everything. He told him one day, and he didn’t even remember why he had done something like that. He took a sip of his tea, and then said frankly:

“I’m jealous.”

“You are.”

“I dislike this song.”

“Really?”

“No, I dislike the person for whom Mamoru wrote this song.”

“I feel sorry for them.”

“Stop making fun of me, Ryota.”

“I’m not making fun of you. But did you just think that, maybe, he didn’t write it for someone? We’re talking about Mamoru, and all the songs have his feelings. That’s what you told us when we first met him, remember?”

“No, it is definitely for someone.”

“You’re stubborn.” Ryota sighed. “Fine, let’s say it is for someone. Who, then?”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to know.”

“Aren’t you curious, though? Aren’t you scared that he’s in love with a bad girl? Or a bad man, by the way, who knows?”

“Knowing Mamoru, it’s probably the cutest and the lovelier person of the planet.”

            And really, whoever it was, they were lucky. Mamoru was an angel, who entered his life without even a knock, and let the light illuminate it since then. He would never regret their meeting. On the contrary, if he could relive it sometimes, he would do it.

“Did you ask Mamoru about this song?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“I can’t tell him I found it and read it.”

“It wasn’t your fault, right? And knowing Mamoru he wouldn’t have scolded you just for that. He likes you way too much for that, anyway.”

“He only likes me, though.” Koki sighed.

            What was happening? He wasn’t someone who complained usually, so why couldn’t he stop now?

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you with that.”

“No, no, let’s continue. Don’t keep that for yourself.”

“What should I do?”

“Talk with him.”

“No.”

“Koki,” Ryota sighed, “sometimes, there’s no better way than a talk. And I’m pretty sure it’s a misunderstanding.”

“Yes, sure, and he will understand my feelings.”

“Not if you think before you talk. And knowing Mamoru, he won’t even get it.”

“He’s not that stupid.”

“No, but he’s not that good to take the hints when he’s enjoying or fearing the talk.”

“I don’t want to play with his feelings.”

“I don’t tell you to play with his feelings.” Ryota sighed. “I guess this discussion will go nowhere. You’re stubborn. I’m pretty sure it’s nothing and that you’re having idea.”

            Koki ate the end of his cookie. He wasn’t dreaming. This song was for someone, and really, he didn’t want to know who. His jealousy was already horrible, killing him little by little, hurting him, and he didn’t need to dislike someone just because Mamoru was in love with them. Even if it was already too late.

“Can’t you ask for me?”

“No.”

            Ryota was surely waiting for the question, because he didn’t take his time to answer.

“And even if I asked, I wouldn’t tell you. Be brave, go see him.”

“Hm…”

“It’s time for you to confess.”

“No, thank you.”

“You’ll have to one day.”

“I’ll bring my secret in the grave.”

“Can you stop being stubborn for like… two minutes?”

“No.”

“That was frank.”

            Ryota laughed and finished his cookie, before saying:

“If you could be with Mamoru too, it would be a good thing. After all, as I already told you, Mamoru likes you a lot. Either you talk about this song you read, or you confess, he wouldn’t hate you for that. Slap me if he ever decided to do it. Embarrassed, he would be, but he wouldn’t reject you.”

“If he doesn’t answer my feelings, he-”

“If, if, if…! If I could put the “if” in a bottle, I’ll throw it in the sea.”

“Don’t contaminate the sea, Ryota. It’s bad.”

“So stop contaminate your heart, and go! If you don’t do even a step, of course nothing will happen. If you continue like that, you’ll die alone, without knowing what love is.”

“Because you know it, maybe?”

“Yes.”

“What?”

            Koki blinked and stared at him, suddenly interested. That was news to him, and now, he was curious. How did it happen? Who was it? Did he know them?

“I know what love is.”

“How?”

“Who knows?”

“Tell me.”

“Only if you talk with Mamoru.”

“Isn’t it blackmail?”

“Not at all. It is friendship.”

            Koki arched an eyebrow. He couldn’t see the friendship in Ryota’s grin at all.

* * *

  


            The day had been long, and Koki was glad to be back in his room. Silence was surrounding him, and he closed his eyes, tired. He needed a good bath, but Ken was already in the bathroom. He stretched and opened his eyes, staring blankly at the roof. He thought about his conversation with Ryota all day long, and now, he didn’t know what to do. A part of him thought Ryota was right, and that he should talk with Mamoru. Another one told him not to do it or he would regret it. For now, the second was winning, but the more he thought about it, the more he thought about the song, and the more he wanted to know.

            He took his purple _Arainu_ and let himself fall on his bed, embracing the plush as if it was the most precious thing in the world. _I can’t have him, but at least, I have his Arainu._ It was better than nothing at all. And he could watch him every day, from afar. It was better than destroying their friendship just because of his jealousy or his love. No, he wouldn’t talk about it with him. It was useless. What he needed, now, was cooking. _What could I do, hm… Not cookies again. Ah, I know._ Katsudon. He wanted katsudon, and it was long enough to prepare to free him from his thoughts.

            So, he stood up, letting the _Arainu_ besides his pillow, and left his room. While he was about to walk forwards the kitchen, he noticed that Mamoru’s room was opened, and he could hear the piano’s notes from it. He stopped and listened, closing his eyes to imagine all the scenario. This time, Mamoru was a demon, all dressed in black, and Koki was an angel. They were fighting for he didn’t know what reason - surely a silly one - and he ended dying, killed by Mamoru himself, and another angel. He couldn’t see their face, but he knew it was someone closed to Mamoru. Koki opened his eyes and looked away. He shook his head, and after a few seconds, finally decided to enter Mamoru’s room.

            He stood in the entrance and stared at his friends, writing things on his sheets and whistling, surely trying to hear how the music would look like when played. Koki stayed quiet. Watching Mamoru work was a blessing, and he would exchange that for nothing in the world. He smiled softly when Mamoru made his sheets fall. One of them slided towards him, and he knelt to pick it up.

“Ah, Koki, since when are you here?”

            Mamoru couldn’t hide the surprise in his voice, and Koki handed him the sheet.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to enter. But your door was opened and…”

            He didn’t finish his sentence.

“Are you alright?” Mamoru suddenly asked.

“What? Yes, why?”

“You’re not yourself today. You’re acting strangely.”

“Ah, it’s nothing, I’m just tired.”

            _Because of you,_ he added for himself.

“Tired? Is your sleep bad? Can I do something for it to be better?”

            _You could but you won’t accept it._

“No, it’s fine, really.”

“Sure?”

“Yes.”

“So, it’s not because of your sleep that you want to talk with me?”

“...Excuse-me? What do you mean?”

“Ryota told me that you wanted to talk with me about something personal. I thought it was because of the way you acted today.”

“Oh.”

            Ryota. He needed talking with him, now. Why did he tell Mamoru that Koki wanted to tell him something? It was terrible, now, he couldn’t step away from this conversation. _Thank you, Ryota. Thank you very much…_ He looked away, wondering how to talk about the song he had discovered the day before. He still felt bad for it, and his jealousy wasn’t over yet. _Maybe if I know for whom it is, I’ll be able to get over this?_ Maybe, or maybe not. He just hoped he would be able to sleep properly after that.

“Ko? Seriously, you’re worrying me, aren’t you sick?”

            A worried expression on his face, Mamoru put a hand on Koki’s forehead. It was soft and warm, and it felt so good that he could stop the time, he would do it.

“I’m not sick.” He sighed.

            He was. This terrible illness was called “love”.

“But it’s true I wanted to talk about...something.”

            Mamoru tilted his head, and offered him to sat on the sofa. Koki nodded, and a few minutes later, the door was closed, and they were sat side by side on the sofa.

“I came in your room to clean, yesterday.”

“Ah, yes, I saw it, thank you for the clothes~! Sorry for bothering you with that. But you’re spoiling me, really, I’ll start thinking you want to be my wife, you know.”

            Koki blushed. If Mamoru knew the thought he had the day before, he would definitely laugh.

“Why should I be the wife? Why wouldn’t you be the wife?”

“Because I’m bad with housework.”

“It’s not the wife who does housework, you know. But yes, you’re pretty bad.”

            Mamoru laughed, soon followed by Koki, who suddenly stopped. Wasn’t he here to talk seriously?

“Anyway… When I put your clothes in the wardrobe, a piece of paper fell and… I’m sorry, I couldn’t help but read it.”

“Oh.” Mamoru blinked, surprised, then tilted his head. “Well, it’s fine. I have sheets everywhere, anyway. I didn’t remember there were a few in the wardrobe.”

            Then, he whispered more for himself than for Koki:

“Maybe this song is here…?”

            It was Koki’s turn to blink. Was Mamoru searching for one of his song? Maybe he was searching for the love song…?

“And so, you were worried because I would be angry you read it? You know I don’t care if it’s you. On the contrary, I wish you could read every of my songs so I can get your opinions on it.”

“Yes, but…” Koki searched for his words, and finally decided to go straight. “It was a love song.”

“A love song…?” Mamoru repeated. “Oh, maybe it was the one I searched for!” He exclaimed.

And suddenly, his face grew pale, as if he had seen a ghost. Koki looked behind him, in case there was someone behind them, but nothing was to be seen. He arched an eyebrow.

“A problem?”

“You… You really read it…?”

“Yes.”

Now, it seemed it was a problem.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, but I got curious.”

“Hahaha…”

“Mamoru, are you in love?”

“Huh, what?”

Mamoru seemed totally confused and lost, and he was looking away. Now, that was suspicious, and Koki felt he shouldn’t have asked that. But it was too late.

“Are you in love? The lyrics… It was really powerful, and beautiful, I could feel it. So, I was wondering if it was because you’re in love you were able to write it.”

There, it was said. Now, either Mamoru told him the truth and it would hurt Koki - he was prepared for that, anyway - or he decided not to say a word about that. Or maybe Ryota was right, and it had been written without Mamoru being in love. Strangely, Koki would like that to be true.

“Where did you put it once you finished reading it?”

“Under a black box, in your wardrobe.”

Mamoru stood up and hurried up towards his wardrobe. Koki didn’t move, and stared blankly in front of him, his heart beating faster than usual. It would explode if it continued like that. He heard noises coming from behind him, but he didn’t dare watching Mamoru searching for the said song. Maybe it was a problem that Koki read it, even though his friend told him the contrary minutes ago.

“Oh, it was really this one…”

Mamoru sighed and came back with the sheets in hands. He seemed embarrassed, as if Koki had read something very personal. He didn’t doubt even once he did.

“What… did you think of it…?”

“Huh? I told you, I found the lyrics really powerful and beautiful. And-”

“No, I mean, about my feelings.”

“Oh.”

_Oh. What I think about it? That your lover is lucky?_

“Well… It’s wonderful you’re in love, Mamoru. I’ll cheer on you every time.”

“Ko… Really? You really think that? You don’t reject me or… ?”

“Why would I reject you?” Koki blinked. Really, Mamoru was strange sometimes. “Except if it’s someone really bad you’re in love with?”

“Someone really bad…?”

            Mamoru blinked, surprised, then frowned.

“Wait, what did you say?”

“That I won’t reject you except if you’re in love with someone really bad. Wait, no, I won’t reject you, but I’ll do my best to protect you from them, I guess?”

“What?”

“What?”

“This is nonsense.”

“It is?”

“Ko. Did you read the title…?”

“No. I felt bad for reading the lyrics, so I put it away as soon as possible.”

“Oh. That’s why you’re asking who I am in love with.”

            Koki blinked and Mamoru sighed. He didn’t understand anymore. If he had read the title, he would have known the lucky woman? If he had known, he would have read it, but it wasn’t what he had thought on the moment. After all, it was bad to ready somebody’s personal things.

Mamoru sat on the sofa, still reading the song, a blush on his cheeks. Then, he handed it to Koki, who tilted his head.

“Read it.”

“Are you sure that’s what you want?”

“I… would have told you one day, anyway. I never thought it would have been so soon, and like that.”

It scared Koki, who feared the worst now. What if it was someone he disliked? Or someone really close to him? He wasn’t sure it was a good idea for him to read the title, but Mamoru expected him to do it. So, slowly, he raised his eyes on the crumpled sheet, and read the title. He blinked.

“Wisteria?” He read. “You’re in love with a flower? What?”

“What are you saying?” Mamoru chuckled. “You’re serious or are you doing on purpose not to understand?”

“I’m serious, Mamoru.”

But Mamoru continued to chuckle, as if Koki had said the funniest thing in the world. He pouted.

“More seriously, Ko. What’s the kanji for Wisteria?”

            Koki tilted his head, and started thinking about it. The kanji for Wisteria? Why was he talking about that kanji? By the way, why should he know the kanji… Suddenly, something clicked in his mind. Something that had made them laugh when they met each other. And he remembered Mamoru saying something about. _It’s the kanji of a flower._ Koki’s eyes opened wide, and he stared at Mamoru without thinking.

“Oh.”

“You understand, now? I… The person I’m in love with, it’s you, Koki.” Mamoru stated, looking away. “I… didn’t want to bother you with my feelings, so I wrote this song month ago. But I thought that if I proposed it as a song for our unit, you would understand about everything, and I was so scared. I mean… A man loving another man, it’s gross, right?”

            Koki didn’t answer, too stupefied by what Mamoru just say. _No, it’s not gross, Mamoru._ Koki clenched his fists under all what he was feeling. Relievement, love. He also felt stupid for being stubborn and not listening to Ryota’s saying. Did he know about it?

“It’s not gross, Mamoru. I told you, that if you were in love, I will cheer on you.”

“Yes, but that was before you knew it was you…”

“Besides,” Koki continued, ignoring Mamoru’s last sentence, “you were right, earlier. I want to be your wife.”

“...What?”

“Well, not your wife, but I guess husband is better?” Koki shook his head. “Anyway, what I’m trying to say is… I love you, Mamoru. And you don’t know how relieved I am now that I know it’s not someone else you love.”

            Mamoru blinked, opened his mouth, closed it. Then, he came closer to him, leaning, so near that Koki could feel his breath on his lips, and how many times did he dream about it?

“It’s true? You’re not saying that just to make me happy?”

“It will be terrible for you to do something like that. It would hurt you more than anything, and I don’t want to hurt you. So, no, I’m not saying that on purpose. I love you.”

            They stared at each other, and a smile finally appeared on their lips, before they touched each other.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, I really hope you enjoyed it! ♥


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